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Family Disputes

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 9:46 am
by carchoo51
Can someone explain to me why a great young man after years of physical and mental abuse from his step father. Punches him when he pushed his sister.The stepfather was so drunk he could hardly walk. That was 4 years ago, he goes to trial this week and may go to jail. He will lose his job in Indiana and his vehicle. He doesnt deserve this.

Second story This is about my younger sister who works so hard to make her rent and utilities. She has a abusive drunk for a boyfriend that beats her up all the time he is drunk. Last time he broke a chair over her back and she couldn't walk for days. The police were called. They never took him with them. How is this fair? My nephew has made a good life for himself. My sisters boyfriend will never change. where is the justice here.

Re: Family Disputes

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 5:32 pm
by jimmo
the abused has to press charges is my guess.

Re: Family Disputes

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:27 am
by logic1
why is your sister still putting up with him? There is nothing tying her there - so leave. There is a time you need to be responsible for yourself too. Yes, there are probably other issues too, but she needs to just leave.

Re: Family Disputes

Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:50 pm
by Jeff Boettcher
Insert your will in both cases. Get proactive.
If you have your life together & they don't, take charge for them. Family will prevail.

<small>[ March 02, 2007, 10:53 PM: Message edited by: Jeff Boettcher ]</small>

Re: Family Disputes

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:19 am
by Deb Richardson
logic1, yes it seems logical that this woman just leave the abusive situation. Easier said than done. Often times women in these situations stay due to low self-esteem and fear. An abuser will use these weaknesses to further control and abuse. Jeff is right, a pro-active family intervention could be this woman's only salvation. It is rather interesting that just within the past few months a woman related a story to me of how she was abused and kept basically under lock and key until her family came to her rescue. Her family pretty much kidnapped her from her home. The tie this woman's abuser had was he was supplying her with drugs. "Be a good girl all week, keep the house clean, the laundry done, and I'll bring you drugs when I'm home on the weekend and let you use my cell to say "hi" to your family, and take you grocery shopping." Sounds like a movie I know, but true. The love of family, rehab, and counseling have brought this woman back to a productive life again. It has been a few years now, yet every day is a struggle. Getting better for her, but still a struggle. What has kept her going is love of family.

I'm not saying that Carchoo51's sister has a drug problem, it is not uncommom for women in abusive situations to have something of the like held over them. Good luck Carchoo51!

<small>[ March 03, 2007, 01:24 PM: Message edited by: Deb Richardson ]</small>

Re: Family Disputes

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 10:08 am
by carchoo51
Thank you for all your answers I am going up there for a visit. If he touches her I will get involved hurt or going to jail. Thank you all again Take Care

Re: Family Disputes

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 11:30 pm
by Jeff Boettcher
I said insert your will, not your fist.
If the situation looks bad, make the decision for your sister & get her out of there. You won't do her any good if you're in jail for beating on that jerk.

Get her out then convince her to press charges. The "boyfriend" should go to jail, not you for trying to beat some sense into him.