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The Tomahawk Leader is a state and national prize-winning weekly newspaper serving the scenic Northwoods area in and around Tomahawk, WI.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 10:14 pm 
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Negative People Can Be Such a Pain!

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less makes your life miserable!

A New York woman was at her hairdresser's on Park Avenue getting her hair styled prior to a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome?" why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how're you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's left bank called Teste..."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful,"
explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome
28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel -- it was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really...What'd he say?"

He said, "Where'd you get the ****ty hairdo?


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 7:37 am 
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Thanks, aphephilia! That was hilarious! (It's just too bad when the first couple paragraphs remind you of all too many acquaintances.)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 5:00 am 
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That was good! Reminds me of the old lady that was in front of the judge. He asked her to explain what had occured. "Well," she said, "I was sitting on my front porch swing and enjoying a cool evening, and along comes this young fellow. He sits down beside me and puts his arm around my shoulders. It felt good to be cuddled, after all, my husband has been passed on for 30 years. Well, your Honor, then he put his hand on my knee. Well, I got all excited and told him "Take me, I'm yours". The yound man leaned over and whispered in my ear "April Fools", and that's when I shot him".


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:47 pm 
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Tie to Tomahawk: vacation
Baby, I'm impressed. You can even make a reply to a joke seem like a tangent to the original subject!

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?


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