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Chicago Terro Alert !

Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:15 am
by KEN
The Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. :shock:
After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. :?
Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season. :lol:

Re: Chicago Terro Alert !

Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:14 pm
by kmartell
That's cold !!!! ...but I like it :twisted:

You know...I think the same thing happened to our Raiders this season too :roll:. Not that I give a squat about them. I support 'ol 'crazy eyes' Singletary and the Niners...and of course my old team the Packers. :wink:

Re: Chicago Terro Alert !

Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:57 am
by djw479
"And in related news, many of the yard lines at the GB Packers practice field have been mysteriously disappearing. Following weeks of FBI research, it seems many players thought the yard lines were Cocaine. Now the team needs to order more line chalk...rock salt will be used in the interim.

The NFLPA will hold meetings to determine if "Do Not Snort The Lines" signs are required per OSHA, and if they can sue the team for this Attractive Nuisance issue."

Re: Chicago Terro Alert !

Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:03 am
by Deb Richardson
Spoken by a true fan of Da Bears!

Re: Chicago Terro Alert !

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:00 am
by asterix
This material is good enough to be from the Onion.

Re: Chicago Terro Alert !

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:38 am
by djw479
An oldie but still funny:

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go straight to ****.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them, 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?

Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow und ice, und ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from Minnesota , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling walleye and drinking beer. The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?'

Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere atda Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'

The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in ****.

The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to moan, move much or even just gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?'

They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if **** iz froze ova, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl!

Re: Chicago Terro Alert !

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 1:37 pm
by Deb Richardson
~eye roll, head shake~Yup, spoken by a fan of Da Bears!