A Little Humor

Forum for discussions about Tomahawk and the Northwoods.
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kmartell
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Re: A Little Humor

Postby kmartell » Mon May 07, 2007 6:35 pm

Well....I'm so glad we found a topic we can finally all agree on. And that is...beer is good, no beer is bad!!!

Now I'm sure we could argue until we turned blue in the face about which beer is best, but that's just a matter of 'taste'. But the end of the day, no matter what's in our mugs, we can hoist them and say 'prost!!!'.

And thanks for the CA beer and brewery suggestions... I'll give them a try.
Ken Martell
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Thankful to be alive and healthy. Proud to call Tomahawk my hometown.

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Re: A Little Humor

Postby Catfish » Mon May 07, 2007 8:46 pm

How did this thread of "A little bit of humor" turn into a beer discussion? Oh wait a minute, I get it, "just add alcohol". Any way, elderly Mr. Jackson went to the doctor with his wife for a complete physical and a batch of tests. They said the results would be available in a few days. A few days later the doctor calls and says there was another Mr. Jackson that came in around the same time and the test results got confused not knowing which test was whose. The doctor added that the results were not good for either Mr. Jackson. One had aids and the other has alzeimers. Mrs. Jackson asked the doctor how she would know who was who and asked for another round of tests. The doctor said that the tests were very expensive and Medicare would only pay for them once. She again asked how she could find out, and if they had any ideas. The doctor said they did have an idea. Mrs. Jackson, we want you to put your husband in the car and drive him to the middle of the city. Drop him off. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him!

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Re: A Little Humor

Postby Jeff Boettcher » Mon May 07, 2007 11:03 pm

Ken,
Enjoy! But keep in mind that Old Rasputin & Old Stock Ale are "High Octane" beers. Old Rasputin is an imperial stout that's bottled @ ~9% abv & Old Stock is over 10% abv. Tasty, but very potent!

Jeff
What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Re: A Little Humor

Postby KEN » Tue May 08, 2007 12:35 pm

Nurse to Doctor; "Doctor, The Invisible Man is here to see you."
'
'
'

Doctor to Nurse; "Tell him I can't see him today."

:roll:

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Re: A Little Humor

Postby Old Scout » Thu May 10, 2007 8:15 pm

Wife: Honey.....What are you looking for?

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??

Husband : I was just looking for the expiration date.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet to the office. Why?

Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stress Reliever Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

_________________________________________________________

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor

:D
The National Institutes of Health has just released the results of a $200 million research study completed under a grant to Johns Hopkins.
The new study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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Re: A Little Humor

Postby Catfish » Thu May 10, 2007 9:14 pm

The pirate walks into the bar and the bartender says, "Hey pirate, you've got a steering wheel sticking out of the zipper on your pants." The pirate says, "Arhhh, I know, it's drivin me nuts!"

KEN
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Re: A Little Humor

Postby KEN » Thu May 17, 2007 8:13 pm

GREEN BAY—Three-time MVP and undisputed future Hall of Fame quarterback Brett Favre, disappointed with the Packers' refusal to aggressively pursue receiver Randy Moss and frustrated with his team's apparent indifference to making immediate improvements on offense, is demanding a trade to the team he feels will give him the best shot at winning a last Super Bowl ring before his retirement: the 1996 Green Bay Packers.

"I just don't think this Packer team, and GM Ted Thompson especially, is thinking in terms of winning with me," said Favre, speaking to reporters at his charity golf tournament in Mississippi Sunday. "On the other hand, 1996 Packers GM Ron Wolf is committed to building the team completely around me. I don't think it's out of the question to say that with me behind center, the 1996 Packers are looking at going all the way to the Super Bowl."

Early reports had indicated that Favre was so upset that his team failed to close a draft-day deal for Randy Moss with the Oakland Raiders that his agent called Packers GM Ted Thompson and requested a trade to a team with capable receivers.

"Nothing against Donald [Driver] and Greg [Jennings], but if I can't throw it to Randy Moss, then I want to throw it to Antonio Freeman, Robert Brooks, and Don Beebe," Favre said. "I bet with them, I'd have more of a chance of throwing for, say, 3,899 yards and 39 touchdowns, with maybe as few as 13 interceptions. Who knows? That kind of production could even get me another MVP award, although of course that's much less important than leading the '96 Pack to another Super Bowl victory."

Favre also noted that, unlike the young and unproven 2007 Packers, the 1996 Packers boasted seasoned veterans on both sides of the ball.

"It sure would be great to play alongside Reggie White again—I get chills just thinking about seeing him in the locker room," Favre said. "That whole '96 defense is great, too. Santana Dotson is a force in the middle. That LeRoy Butler, I tell you, he's one of the most underrated safeties in the game. Desmond Howard isn't a bad kick returner, either. And unlike the Packer backfield I got now, the '96 Packers still feature William Henderson at fullback."

"Mark Chmura, though, I don't know," Favre admitted. "Decent tight end, but something about him isn't quite right."

In addition to the more elite personnel, Favre praised the aggressive attitude of the coaching squad and front office of the Packers of 1996, saying he was a fan of head coach Mike Holmgren's West Coast offense and Wolf's aggressive recruiting strategies.

"I think Holmgren and I would make an interesting team," Favre said. "He could teach me a lot. We could learn from each other. And I know Ron Wolf would have my back. If, say, our number-one receiver gets knocked out for the season in Week 7, I believe Wolf would go right after a great veteran free agent, like maybe Andre Rison, to give us an edge in the playoffs. I can almost guarantee that."

"It would really be something," Favre said. "We'd be one of the all-time great teams, a once-in-a-lifetime thing, you know? I'm going to have my agent look into it right away."

Although the Packers had no immediate comment, head coach Mike McCarthy said the team would be "heartbroken" to part with its greatest player, although in deference to Favre's long service, and for the good of the current team, they would be willing to consider a trade package including a first-round pick in the 2008 NFL draft and the 1996 Brett Favre.
;)

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Re: A Little Humor

Postby Old Scout » Wed May 23, 2007 10:15 pm

Where did everyone go ? ? ?

Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery?
(Come on - this is funny!)

the winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down!
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total
loss too. Both books - poof! up in flames, and he hadn't even finished
coloring one of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

A new law was recently passed in Arkansas .
When a couple gets divorced,
they are STILL cousins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a mudslide. The bartender
looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?
"No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania ."
The bartender looks at him and says,
"Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania ?"
"I'm a taxidermist, " said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks,
"What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist? "
The man says,"I mount animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar...
It's okay boys, he's one of us!"
The National Institutes of Health has just released the results of a $200 million research study completed under a grant to Johns Hopkins.
The new study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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kmartell
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Re: A Little Humor

Postby kmartell » Thu May 24, 2007 1:09 am

Hey Old Scout... We're out here!!! At least I hope we are.

I guess we're just waiting for a subject that will peak our interest...something that will spark a little debate and generate some give-and-take (at least that's my excuse for not posting anything).

Btw….this weeks Leader arrived in the mail today (I finally subscribed for the hardcopy version) and I see that you all are going to have a fun Memorial Day weekend with the Car Show, etc…. I hope the weather treats you good and that a green 57 Chevy 2 Door Sedan wins a trophy... Wish I could be there…maybe next year 

And by the way, thank you for your posting and the jokes.....
Ken Martell
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Thankful to be alive and healthy. Proud to call Tomahawk my hometown.

KEN
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Re: A Little Humor

Postby KEN » Fri May 25, 2007 5:43 am

A baby seal walks into a bar and sits down. "What can I get you?" asked the bartender.
'
'

"Anything but a Canadian Club" replied the seal.


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